Quest 2: Military challenges (Blogging Anniversary)

Liz Ann said...
With us both being in the military, we know we have to move a lot and our husbands deploy. How in the heck do you keep your sanity during all of the chaos? Any moving tips? Or activities for kids to do while Dad is gone TDY?

Okay, Liz Ann, you know good and well I am not one to have any control while my husband is away. LOL! Need I remind you of the incidents which happened while Frank was gone to Saudi Arabia for five months? Need I recount the stories of my children totally losing their minds and acting like complete strangers in their father's absence? Hmmmm? Do I have to reminisce on the lack of control that surrounded me? My house was beyond disasterous and screamed chaos! It was indeed a scary scene! LOL! You know I am a wreck of a person without my husband. Where in the world did this question come from!?

LOL! With that said, though, I have learned a lot from the situations where I have had to be a alone (verging on being a single parent). Namely, I developed quite a different attitude toward my parenting techniques, than what I originally had. Previously, I tried to be the "good" parent. I liked being my kids' friends. I enjoyed being the one to dish out mercy and love, and leave the unpleasant dealings of discipline to my husband. However, being without my strong hand, I realized that I should have been taking part in this unpleasant task, instead of pawning the responsibility off to my hubby. I had a huge wake up call to this idea while Frankie was away, because my children had no respect for my authority when he was not around. Why should they? They had never had to deal with me disciplining them before. Why should they expect that I would suddenly change? I learned that I had taken the easy way out, by solely relying on him to handle the children when it came to structure. Girl, let me just tell you, that was a HUGE mistake. Trying to teach teenagers, at ground zero, to be obedient to me was a daunting task. Had I trained them while they were young, I would have never had to deal with their rebellion the way I did. I know now that a mother's role is not just to love and nurture, but it is as equally important to train them with consequences too. It's been difficult for me to do that with my passive personality, but I've learned that's it's necessary, so I try to be more stern.

Consequently, if I could give you any advice, it would be to prepare your children early in whatever realm they need it. Don't wait until you are faced with a difficult situation to implement a principle. Prepare well in advance before your trial arrives. If you have established patterns, then separation will not effect you as much. Remember, "if ye are prepared ye shall not fear." Prepare your home and family in whatever way you can before your husband has to leave. Your challenge may not be in discipline, but may be in something else. Whatever the case may be, you have to prepare early. This will bring you peace of mind.
________________

Liz Ann, I think you will handle things much better than I have. You are tremendously more active and have loads more energy than me. You will be able to keep your mind free through various activities. The only caution I would give is to steer clear from things that will bring you temptations. You may be vulnerable. You don't want to put yourself in jeopardy to those enticings. Be strong. Pray hard. I love you!

Any more questions from anyone? I'm still taking them...