Communication

I have felt an overwhelmingly sense of gratitude for my husband recently. Particularly, for the fact that he communicates with me so well. I guess I have taken this blessing for granted, and thus have needed to be reminded of what a beautiful asset that he really is in my my life. I have realized that a lot of men are not like him, but rather have a difficult time opening up. They hesitate to share their thoughts in meaningful conversations. For this reason, I wanted my hubby to know how much I notice and appreciate his attentiveness, especially his ability and nature to be a true companion. It makes me extremely happy to know that I am married to my best friend, and that we can open our souls to each other on any topic.

Consequently, I told Frank this last night, and he responded with an enlightening remark. He said the reason he is able to speak to me without reluctance is because I have made our conversations feel like a safe environment. He said I don't get mad at what he says, even if it's negative. Through this safe atmosphere, he has come to realize that he can express anything to me and it will be okay. He further indicated that a lot of men can't do this because they have had experiences where their comments have not been peacefully regarded. Therefore, they feel they are entering fragile territory when speaking, and thus proceed with caution, oftentimes holding back. A barrier is formed because they don't want their thoughts to be shut down, or greeted with hostility. Furthermore, this reaction leads to avoiding conversations all together, because it becomes easier and safer to avoid speaking than enter a conversation with any degree of threat. Hmmmm...it made me think.

That is so true! There is a comfort level that we have that is felt by both of us. We can speak to each other about anything. There are no barriers to tear down, or any walls that are put up. We can ask each other opinions, or deep thoughts, or ideas and the other can freely respond, without hesitation. There is no fear of reprocussions or threatening backfire. We can talk openly and honestly, and trust that our feelings are safeguarded and protected. We can proceed with confidence--that what we say will not be trampled on by the other. We know that the other will objectively hear our thoughts, and not judge what we are saying, but will listen as a supportive companion. This is a reassuring feeling! This is indeed a blessing! If we have differences of opinions, we can agree to disagree. Nothing festers. We coexist in harmony, love, and respect.

Interestingly, we had a conversation with our Bishop on Sunday. We were talking about our kids and family. Bishop brought up that most couples who have troubles in their relationships (that's not why we were talking to him, btw), have problems with communication. He stated that men need to let their wives talk 80% of the time and listen to what they have to say. He noted that men don't need to talk, but women do, and they need to allow their wives to do so. I thought...wow! We are so beyond that. When we first got married, that was probably an accurate diagnosis. However, as we have evolved, we now both enjoy speaking and listening. We both have things to say. We both contribute, and it is comforting. Frank and I share equally in our companionship. I LOVE it!!! I'm so glad that my hubby enjoys communicating with me. I'm eternally grateful that we lean on each other with confidence.

I love my husband dearly! I love that he is a concrete, tangible blessing in my life! I love that we walk through life together, and share in its ups and downs. I can't imagine him being absent from me, or removed from my grasps. I consider him a bonus to all good things. He makes me smile, laugh, and especially want to live and love! He is my true sweetheart! He is a part of who I am. He is my true companion, in every sense of the word. Moreover, he is my counterpart, and I love it! I thank God that I have a husband who effectively communicates to me on every level. It is a precious gem that I never want to relinquish.