RS retreat--Day 2

My lunch buddies:Wow! What a wonderful day! We had an awesome Retreat that was filled with hilarious AND spiritual experiences. It was just the right mixture of what a soul needs. We had so many classes to choose from. I'm a little disappointed that I couldn't do them all. The limit for everyone was four. I chose:

Class 1) A Wise Steward Shall Enter into the Joy of His Lord--Making Decisions About Spending and Saving

This was a great class because the speaker was able to teach his principles, but be light hearted about it. In between each slide, he had a LIGHTEN UP! joke that was related to spending. It was awesome! One thing that I found interesting was that he related the effects of overspending to pornography. He indicated that it's attitudes and symptoms are almost identical. Hmmm. Think about this:

It's fun

It fulfills a void

It's a private affair

It's addictive

There's no perceived negative consequences

One has the attitude that it doesn't hurt anyone

Starts off slow--progresses

Feel guilty afterwards

Lack of self-control

Rationalize it's not as bad as someone else's habits

Can not stop (Bondage)

He proposed that Satan uses the same tactics to enslave people in flaxen cords. He indicated that he deceives and tempts us in very similar ways and the result is always the same: bondage. He gave advice on how to free ourselves (nothing new, but a good reminder):

Pay tithing FIRST!

Pay Fast Offerings

Avoid debt--spend less than you make

Distinguish between needs and wants--Don't do your spending by YEARNING, but EARNING

Use a budget--Keep a record

Build a reserve

Food Storage

Insurance

Invest

Teach children

Blessings are predicated on obedience

Class 2) I'll Know the Scriptures Are True--Establishing Scripture Reading Traditions

This was THE BEST class of the day! Ginger Ewell was phenomenal at bringing the Spirit in and giving a lot of practical ideas on how to constantly be influential in our families' lives by using the scriptures. I can't even do this class justice by my notes. However, here's a few:

Use gospel kit pictures. (She bound a book out of them for each of her grandkids, put her testimony inside, and they pull them out to teach) Flip open to a picture. Ask questions: Who is this? Why is he in a grove and not in a house? etc...

Or, put a picture up for a week. At the end of the week, talk about the picture--always asking questions.

Tell stories to kids on CD. Record information in your own voice and character so they will always have them. Give as gifts once a year. On them tell scripture stories, ask thought provoking questions, and relate parables to help in application. Also, you can do separate CDs for family stories. If you are interested in CDs she has done, go to grandmagingerstories.com.

A faith promoting story a day keeps Satan away!

Why do we read scriptures as a family? Why can't we send them to their rooms and that be enough? (Families learn about each other, they bear testimony together, they have great teaching opportunities, minimize Satan's power)

Teach children to also study on their own. Parents cripple kids when they solve all of their problems. Ex: If a child asks, Who is Moses? Send them to the Bible Dictionary and tell them once they find out, come back and tell ME who he is. They need to know how to stand on their own. Get them in the scriptures.

Teach with activities--Ex: take them out on a trampoline or ground, look up at the stars, talk about the creation. Again, ASK QUESTIONS!

We are told to hunger and thirst after righteousness and feast on the words of Christ. She brought a delicious looking cake out. As her utensil, she had a toothpick. How much can you really eat with a toothpick? She indicated that's how a lot of us approach scripture study. We toothpick it to death. Hmmm.

We are warriors for the Lord. If a child molestor was coming to destroy our children, we would stand in their way and fight them to the death. Why can we not see that we have a tremendous enemy coming at our kids, Satan. We better stand in front and do all that is necessary to protect them.

She held up scriptures with signs over them: WARNING

Neglect these at your own risk

Again, I couldn't do this class justice. It was PHENOMENAL!

Class 3) She Looketh Well to the Ways of Her Household: Preserving and Teaching Homemaking Skills

Okay, I had to take a picture with these sisters. They were supposed to be the flyladies, mimicked off of flylady.net. Their class was so funny. They had all sorts of antics that showed the need to organize ourselves, but not to the extreme of being OCD about it. Rule #1 was to always keep your sink clean. They advised to take your pan that is caked on with food, put some peaches in it, add sugar, butter, and flour, and bake. After it's done, deliver it to someone for THEM to eat. And, guess what!? Within a few days, it will come back to you CLEAN. LOL!!! Is that not ridiculously funny? These ladies were cracking jokes the whole time. They sang songs like "I Am a Mormon Woman," twisted from "I Am a Redneck Woman." They completely made a joke out of the whole thing. They were a HOOT!

4) How do you raise good, obedient TEENAGE children and survive? Expert advice for this unique stage of parenting.

Now why do you think I chose this class???

Our teacher was from LDS Social Services. He basically took his information from a book that what about parenting with Love and Logic. There are three types of parents:

The Drill Sergeant -(Frank)--they command and direct the lives of their children. They provide messages of low personal worth and resistance, give lots of demands and expectations about responsibility, tells child how he should handle responsibility and how he should feel, provides absolutes, demands things should be done NOW, issues orders and threats, takes over ownership of the problem using threats and orders to solve the problem, uses lots of harsh words, very few actions, uses punishment; pain and humiliation can serve as the teacher.

The Helicopter-(Me)--This parent hovers over children and rescues them from the hostile world in which they live. They also provide messages of weakness and low personal worth, makes excuses for the child, but complains about mishandled responsibilities, "takes on" the responsibility of the child, protects the child from any possible negative feelings, makes decisions for the child, provides no structure, but complains, "After all I've done for you...", whines and uses guilt, complains about having an irresponsible child who causes "me" much work and responsibility, uses lots of words and actions which rescue or indicate that the child is not capable or responsible, protects child from natural consequences, uses guilt as the teacher.

The Consultant-(The ideal)--The Love and Logic parent provides guidance and consultant services for children. They provide messages of personal worth and strength, seldom mentions responsibilities, demonstrates how to take care of self and be responsible, shares personal feelings about own performance and responsibilities, provides and helps child explore alternatives and then allows child to make his own decisions, provides "time frames" in which child may complete responsibilities, models doing a good job (finishing, cleaning up) and feeling good about it, helps child explore solutions to his problems, uses lots of actions, but very few words, allows child to experience life's natural consequences and allows them to serve as the teacher.

Wow! Me and my hubby are doing it ALL wrong. We don't fit the ideal at all. Fortunately, our teacher gave us all kinds of ways to use love and logic. I have a packet of stuff to get rolling on the right track.

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The retreat was really great and I walked away with a renewed desire and resolve to be better in my life. Changing bad habits is always hard. I hope that I will be able to report that I'm having fast and sustainable progress. Wish me luck!